A millennial without her phone

We’ve all heard the talk about millennials and their phones. Millennials and their phones. Millennials are their phones. Millennials are phones.

So, what happens when a millennial throws her phone in the toilet, urinates over its stylish design, and realizes, all too late, that the next few days (or however long it takes to pay off the credit card that will surely be used to buy a new one) will be spent without her closest companion?

That’s the million dollar question.

My name is Ellen Falltrick, and as of yesterday, I am a millennial without a phone.

A little backstory for you:

I am a “struggling”, 3rd year college student at California State University, Chico. When I say “struggling,” please understand that my problems are not actually of the greatest importance and I am referring to only the classic, first-world struggles of most people my age. Some of these struggles include:

 

Lactose intolerance

  • Example: “I definitely asked for soy milk in my coffee and clearly *while sitting on the toilet* they gave me regular.”

Boys

  • Example: “He’s so great, Mom! I mean, I haven’t heard from him in 4 days but I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

Car trouble

  • Example: “Hi, Triple A? Yeah hey, I’m stranded at the airport without keys, so, uh, do your thing.”

Showers

  • Example: “How many days in a row is it considered acceptable to use dry shampoo?”

Broken chargers

  • Example: Tech guy – “Did you have your charger plugged in during the storm? Yep, it’s shorted. That’ll be $84.95.”

Taxes

  • Example: “JUST TAKE MY MONEY!”

Work/Life Balance

  • Example: “I’m a full time student, board member of an organization, social media manager, publicity assistant for a campus department, part-time waitress, and three of my assignments are due by midnight, but yeah, I can go out tonight.”

Sleep

  • Don’t even get me started.

Water-damaged Iphones

  • Example: *Kerplunk!* “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. GET ME SOME RICE! No, no, no, no, no.”

 

I’m glad we’re on the same page. Now, this “struggling,” dairy-free, boyfriend-having, key-losing, shower-lacking, charger-free, tax-avoiding, iphone-breaking, money-needing, sleepless, workaholic, will attempt to do it all…. without a phone.

Welcome to the journey.

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