Day #2 AMWHP: Alarms, phone calls, and potential muggings

I have to say, I think this is going fairly well.

I feel like an evolved hipster. That is, until I remember that the reason I don’t have a cellphone isn’t for superior, wisdom-heavy reasons, but purely for the fact that I PEED ON MINE.

I do feel like I’m cheating though. I have a macbook pro at my fingertips, and not having a cellphone is pretty tolerable when you have a computer that can perform all the basic functions of the iphone.

There are are, however, obstacles I didn’t account for.

First surprise obstacle: Alarms.

Believe it or not, my internal clock doesn’t wake me up, briskly, at 6:30am the way my alarm used to. Apparently, my body values sleep more than my psychotic mind.

Second surprise obstacle (and this one’s my favorite): Phone calls.

An elegantly simple problem, isn’t it? How do you conduct a phone call from a computer? You don’t. And unfortunately, around here, there aren’t any pay phones until you hit Alabama (no offense, Alabamians).

Who cares though, right? All our society does anymore is text.

Well, my tax guy doesn’t text. I wanted to call him yesterday. Actually, I needed to (again, take a first-world perspective on the word, “need”). It’s April 26th… taxes were due the 15th… you do the math.

Okay, okay, taxes aren’t that big of a big deal; who actually pays ’em anyway?

Other than taxes, why else would you need to make a phone call in 2017?

A potential obstacle: Safety.

I have a thought:

Let’s say you get mugged. They will surely steal your wallet, phone, watch, and possibly your keys.

Let’s say I get mugged. They will surely steal my wallet… but, there’s no phone.

Could that lack of cellphone stop the entire rest of the theft procession? Or would they become angry and curb stomp my face?

The answer is yet to be determined, but I’ll let you know the next time I get mugged.

And we continue.


(artwork by Mano Sotelo –

2 thoughts on “Day #2 AMWHP: Alarms, phone calls, and potential muggings

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